So I went to my interview today, and I nearly passed out.Literally. The interview went fine, didn't even break a sweat. But then they took me for a tour of the facility. Sherryl hands me a pair of those papery things that you slip over your feet. So without bending down I slip the first one on. The goes the other. All of a sudden I get this massive cramp in my back from I guess stretching out to get the damn thing on. So for about a minute I have my left arm reaching over to try and massage the kink out. I try really hard to make it seem like I'm paying attention as Sherryl points out this room and that room.....I put my arm down in hopes that it's like lactic acid buildup, and it'll just wear off. And then it starts to hurt just a bit less, so I'm thinking, ok good. Wait, is it cold in here? She tells me that the temperature is about 65 degrees for the workers that are running around. But then I start to get this tingle in my body and my arm starts to get pinpricks. I touch my forehead and I realized I just broke into a cold sweat. And I think to myself when will she stop talking so I can get outside for some fresh air? The tingling increases and my eyesight starts to fade. It's strange at first, because I'm looking right at Sherryl, but she's darker. You know how when they do a scene change on tv, the tv fades slowly to black? That's exactly how it was, except shinier. Like I could see the tingling as bright spots, while everything was getting darker. I thought to myself, if I pass out now, this is totally gonna kill my interview. I could just imagine myself fully blacking out, and on the floor, and everyone freaking out. I started getting naseous at the same time, and just wanted to run outside and hurl.

Eventually she said the words that I was waiting to hear "Well I guess that's it. Do you have any questions?" I shook my head no, and we walked out of the clean room and she said she'd call me soon. I shook her hand and made a beeline for the door. And things slowly started clearing up. The numbness dissapated, and I could see clearly again. What a scare.

My theory is that I cramped a muscle by overstretching and then it pinched a nerve or blood vessel, which stopped blood flow to my brain and arm. Note to self : If you're in the car, don't strain yourself reaching for something in the backseat, lest u pass out and die. Near Near Death Experience #2. I'll mention #1 in a later post. Time to study for my JAVA II exam. yay.

chiachi's theory on love and relationships numero dos

I think it's the second time I've read this blog and I thought hey, me and this girl have a connection. We seem to think the same. Maybe........ but then I realized that it's nothing 'unique' really. I know there are loads of ppl that must read this and think "Wow! She and I are in the same boat, we must be soulmates. Now how can I get to know her better?" In reality, most normal people think like this. Most people believe there more than one person in the world that's right for them. So why is it that I feel maybe we were meant for each other? That of all the people in the world, she could be a "the one"?

I think it's that I just want/need somebody to connect with. We look for similarities in people and then focus on it as though nothing else matters. And in a way, it doesn't. The differences you may have with the person you're in love with become 'quirks' that you learn to live with or overlook. "They're not perfect, but they're the one for me." And life can go on indefinitely like this. Until of course, one day you wake up and find out you're not in love anymore. Then those 'little' imperfections start to become not-so-little and next the you know, it's over. In a lifetime, "the one" will eventually become "the two" and "the three".

The point I suppose, is that one person( or event for that matter), will never be the greatest thing that has ever happened to you. It should be that that person/event is the greatest that's ever happened so far. Things may get worse until they get better, but they will always get better. So hang in there, me........

List of things to do tomorrow :
1. Interview for part time job at ChemTrace 1pm
2. Continue studying for exam at 6.
3. Take exam at 6.
4. Go clubbing (maybe) somewhere in SF
4b. (alternate) check out seedy little bar & darts place near school.

If I knew then what I knew now, I would have chosen a major that can weather a financial depression and be broad enough to apply to a lot of the jobs out there. I remember 'laughing' at the kids majoring in psych, and sociology, but it seems that there's applications for that in places where my bio major is useless. Just about every job where there's human/human interaction whether they be customers or children, patients, or inmates, needs someone with background in that. And my point is?...........

I realized that this blog format is really gay, so I should change it eventually. After I get a job. I think this has literally been the first time I've been out of the house during the day in a month.

"....going through some strange bout of depression with all the things going on.....they say the first step to getting cured is acknowledging the 'illness', yeah I took this "are you in depression?" test on msn.com and I passed. "

is what I wrote to Martin. So I'm at Chabot College looking at their employment opps, and pickings seem to be pretty slim. All the posting were from like a month and a half ago. apparently they'll redo all the postings tomorrow, so I'll be the first one in the door hopefully at 9am. There's only 1 folder with ALL the postings so I have to make sure I'm the first to bogart it or I'll be waiting hours to look at it.

So anyway, the jobs I've 'shown interest' in from the postings here are:

Circuit City Sales Associate
ChemTrace Lab Technician
Cal Bank Trust Administrative Assistant II
WomensRadio.com Web Designer

The latter sounds prime, and their website is crap(which is good for me) but its unfortunately unpaid. Maybe if I work at CC, I can get some discounts on tech stuff. But isnt the point of working to pay OTHER bills rather than just amass huge quantities of quickly-depreciating nut and bolts? Although I DO need a new llaptop........

I love life. 363 days and counting.........

So I'm trying to get through my recent breakup, and maybe this is just an obvious thing that I don't know about but when you break up, there's always someone that is the hurted and hurtee right? I mean even in a 'mutual' breakup such as mine, I feel like she was the one that dumped me. Cuz she specified all the reasons why we shouldn't be together, namely the long-distance thing, and the fact that's she still young and can't see herself being with one person(me) for the rest of her life. Granted I 'agree' with all this, but the fact remains that these were issues that were present throughout our relationship. They're brought up as a reason now for us not to be together. Hmmm, maybe I'm just bitter. I just thought that being a 'mutual' breakup we'd both be ok about it.

I guess love is just one of those things that you can't really rationalize. Kinda like how there's no solution to the guys from mars, girls from venus thing. No matter how much time u spend, you will never understand the opposite sex. Perhaps it's the love that gets in the way.....

So the wedding I went to last weekend was quite cool. Olive, my friend of 9 yrs that I met at a club in HK, was the bride. She's pretty fobby, and has a white fetish. Actually thinking back, when I met her she was asking about my friend Pierce(this huge redheaded monster of a guy), not me. Anyway, she's a nice girl. So she's married this guy who seemed totally cool, who she's only known for a few months. The thing I was most concerned about was whether or not he would treat her right, or beat her or be a druggie with no future.

So went for the weekend, and he seemed totally kosher. I was appointed the best man 5 minutes before the ceremony. It was a pretty slapdash affair, so it's not like a huge thing. About 20 or so ppl, mostly Ben's ( the groom) family. Olive didn't have anyone there, cuz she just moved from HK, so Alonzo (friend from hi-skool) and I were there as support. Anyway, everything seemed to go off without a hitch, and the happy couple would have happy mixed babies in the near future.Oh, this is in Indiana, by the way, which is a pretty small place, not much well known for it's huge Asian population.

So they've been husband and wife for nary a week, and Olive calls me up Tuesday and tells me that he has a court appointment tomorrow. Now she hasn't heard anything about this from him, so she(and I) assumed it's what, a trafffic offense or something. Nothing to worry about.

Next day, she calls me bawling and says that he's gonna be in prison for a year and a half. WTF right? Apparently, there was some incident 2 years ago where he was fingered as the person that planned this robbery or something, and the court appointment was his sentencing date. But the most fucked up thing is? He didn't tell her about it. She tells me that Ben told his parents that he told Olive but apparently he didn't. So your new husband of not even a week, all of a sudden is in jail for 18 months.

I remember when I was still there, we were sitting outside and I said "so what u guys doin for ur honeymoon?" He says "I dunno, we're definitely going somewhere soon." Hmm....well i guess It'll be a while before that happens. I just feel sorry for Olive. I mean she is totally justified in getting an anullment, since it's not like she knew this was gonna happen. If he had told her and she still got married, that'd be a different issue. Now she's gotta deal with not having him for 18 months, and even when he gets out, his felony conviction is gonna make it mighty hard for him to earn a decent living.

But she loves him. And won't leave him in his hour of need. Which I guess is quite honorable, but probably not the road I would take. I told her maybe it's better to just turn tail and run. It's a lot of baggage to handle. Especially when he just blatantly lied and didn't tell her what was gonna happen. But she says he treats her like a queen, and she really wants to be with him. So my support goes with whatever she wants to do. I tallk to her everyday now to see how she's doing and just to make sure she's hanging in there......

I guess when you think things are at it's worst, it puts things it perspective to know that things could be worse. That you have a lot of things going your way that you don't even realize. I mean it's sad that tings are happening to Olive, but she's dealing with them. I should deal with my situation then too. Find a job. Be something.

I don't believe in THE God, but I feel that there is A God, and he must be showing me that there's things I can control, and some things I can't. But it's up to me to get off my ass and do what I can. Olive sure is. I hope she ends up ok.

On a lighter note, I posted up all the pics from the wedding a few days ago. I told her to look at it. Maybe it'll make her happier.......