Cool beans. The feeling of serenity and/or happiness has lasted 24 hrs so far. I think that's a monthly record. Maybe it's partly cuz I finally had that meeting at the bank for the flash project, and even though they didn't say much, it went well. Seemed like I made a good impression at least. Maybe it's cuz even though I worked 5 hrs today and made only $37, it was good to seem like I was making a difference in the world. The world, of course, being the retail music industry. At least I got a workout moving displays around. I get a strange sense of peace when I'm doing brainless things. Like taking cd cases out of boxes and putting them on hooks and racks, you don't really have to worry if you're doing something wrong or if someone's waiting for you to screw up. I'm sure there's jobs like that around that pay three times as much, but the people currently occupying those jobs aren't gonna be quitting or dying soon.

Or maybe it's cuz when I went to that bank meeting, I put on my slacks, and in the pocket I found a $20 bill. It was just lying down there, crumpled up at the bottom of my pocket. I wonder who it was hiding from. Maybe it was waiting to surprise me. Well, boy was I surprised. Finding money you forgot about is one of the greatest pleasures in the world. Like finding buried treasure. Buried treasure that you yourself buried.....errr.....

Bought some kneepads today for the impending snowboard trip that happens in oh......4 hrs. Drive 4 hrs, get there at 8am, hit the slopes all day, then drive back at 4pm. It should be damn straight. And in the spirit of budget recreation, I am making sandwiches to eat, ham, cucumber and lettuce, cuz don't feel like paying $10 for a chicken sandwich, and $4 for a coke. You can save those for the yuppies drivdriving up in their SUV's and 2.3 kids, designer snowjacket and pants, money dripping out of their nose, and brand new model snowboards when they don't even know how to. *sigh I wanna be a yuppy......

After a night of frustration and a morning of self-loathing, I feel good. Quite money right now. I spent all week trying to study for the java exam today. Trying, but not succeeding. I forgot how much effort it took to do it. My mind just keeps wandering after reading 3 lines of text. First line, I'm reading it. Second line, I'm still reading, but I'm not comprehending, Two point five line, I'm not understanding, and I start to daydream about something else, totally unrelated. 3rd line comes along, my eyes glaze over, and I'm no longer focusing on the page. And it happened all week.

I've decided that perhaps the intake of those non-illegal substances is to blame. So as a new years resolution, I'm gonna quit. I've never had a new year's resolution, and now is a good time to start, thought it's not quite as good as it sounds. This will be my new years resolution for last year. I'm not gonna smoke or drink coffee till new years. That way, I can celebrate 2003 with a cancer-stick. And then I can make another resolution. Maybe.

So the exam went incredibly well. That is, for the amount of studying that I did. Pulled myself out of the fire yet again. It's like I keep telling myself, ok, if you get through this, you have to promise yourself you won't fuck around like this again. This is your last chance. But how many times does it keep happening? Enough. So that can be next year's resolution. Really.

And yet another semi-scary moment happened today. At Sam Goody music store, where I am now seasonally employed. There were 12 of us, all new hires, including the manager, all crowded into the back storeroom. It's pretty tight in there so we were all standing close together in a long row next to this table, while the manager is talking. She's going over company procedures, about sexual harrasment and stealing etc, when all of a sudden one of the girls kinda leans over and it looks like she puts her head on the desk. But it was weird, it seemed almost intentional, but it was in this slow half moving, half falling way. So she's bent at the waist with her torso slumped over the table; I thought she was gonna puke or something. Next you see her legs slowly give way and go limp. Everyone's pretty freaked at this point, and there's total silence while this is going on, as though we're waiting for the girl to just get up and go "Haha, just kidding". One girl grabs her arm and asks if she's ok. No response. No movement. The manager calls to one of the employees to call security. A few seconds later, there's movement. She starts to move around, and another pulls out a chair for her to sit on. She slowly gets up, and slides her way onto the chair. As you can imagine, she looks really embarrassed as everyone is staring at her in awe at what just happened. Dawn, the manager, asks if she's ok. "Do you want a glass of water? Maybe you're too hot, do you want to take off your jacket?" To all this she quietly says "No, I'm fine", and points to her temple, "It was a migraine." So security is called, and her parents are called as well(from the emergency contact # on her application - so that number really IS useful) , for good measure. Security asks her again if she's ok. Again, she quietly points out that it was just a migraine. She gets these migraines.....

So that was that. I guess I could see how, in her shoes, she would not want to make it a big deal lest she get fired on her first day on the job. Scary how stuff like that happens. Reminds me of something.... You could be sitting there minding your own business, and out of nowhere, you just get smite, and your life is over. I'm glad to be alive today. I think I'll do something useful right now, so if the unthinkable does happen, I can at least say "Well I did do SOME of my programming homework"......Speaking of which, and seriously this time, there were apparently some big earthquakes last night a few clicks from where I live which just a precursor of what's to come. And I think I live along a fault line. Great. Hope I don't get sucked under.......

Came home. Made dinner for 1.

1 large box Hamburger helper Stroganoff (noodles + sauce mix) - 10.5 oz

Brown meat, drain, and add all ingredients into a large saucepan or dutch oven. Simmer 10 min.
Ground hamburger - 2 lbs
4 1/2 cups water = 1080 ml = 1080g = approx 2 lb 8 oz
3/4 cup milk = 195ml = 195g = approx 6.4 oz
Bag of frozen vegetables, Fiesta variety - 1 lb
Oregano
Parsley
Crushed red peppers
Fennel
-----------------
Cooking time - 20 min.

Subtracting about a cup or so of fat after draining, the weight of my meal comes to about six lbs. Making a valiant effort, I took down a little more than a pound, before being beaten down and passing out into an fat/additive-induced food coma. Hamburger Helper is great. My roommate in college used cook it all the time. Although it doesn't compare to any real home-cooked food, for what it is, it's pretty damn good. It's like cooking-for-dummies. And you can just add whatever random veggie/meat u have in the fridge to change from plain to 'special'. I have yet to make an unedible batch. Can't say the same for cooking rice, or boiling eggs though.....*feh