just had a nice little chat with annie shin about the joys and perils of being christian. we did not agree on many issues. in summation, christianity to her means serving god. serving god means reading the bible and learning about jesus. to me, being one with god is playing by the golden rule, supplemented by the 10 commandments as a guide. if i truly have a choice, my choice is to be the best person i can be and do the best i can to "make the world a better place". cliched, i know.

I can't form sentences right now, so here's the dialogue for posterity.

I may break it down later if the whole point point of the convo hasn't already eluded me by then.

Current love situation - In my present financial and ejumacational position, i don't have the time or the money to support a full time love interest. As much as I yearn for a warm body to wake up to in the morning, and to discuss my daily goings-on during the night, I feel that the current situation I have best suits me at the moment.

That situation specifically being "flings"; a loose definition of the word describing interaction, that includes a wide variety of interactions, not just physical. Girls that I express fleeting interest in, that come and go, the ones that are not in the area for any extended period of time. Either they come visit or there's a certain perceived chemistry when I talk to them. Nothing serious(as in long-term) can happen as they just aren't here. Those 'what ifs' and 'what could be's' keep me from falling into the well of hole-in-my-heart despair. Fate or God (isn't that the same thing?) will intervene when and if the time is right. Or maybe it will just happen when it happens.

Is this just an act of faith in God that everything will turn out alright? It feels like a weight off my shoulders that I don't have to worry about it I guess. I can concentrate on the more immediate problems at hand, i.e. getting over the stumbling block of trying to do well in school. Stumbling block? More like a Great Wall.